Do you remember when you were a kid and the anticipation you felt at Christmas? What about the smell of cotton candy at the fair or carnival? How about some time spent with someone special in your life? These are the types of things that can come rushing back to your mind at anytime. Sometimes they are triggered by another thought, a picture you see or even a smell that you experience. I remember sleeping in the bedroom above the living room and trying to peek through the vent in the bedroom floor on Christmas Eve. Hoping beyond all hope of getting just a glimpse of St. Nick as he delivered the goods. Trying our best not to make any noise for fear of Dad making that trip upstairs to straighten things out. I also remember when we lived across from the city park, the smell of the cotton candy when the fair came to town. You could smell that from a mile away, even though we were only a 100 yards or so. Another great memory for me is all the times working with my dad in the barn. Whether it was building a shelf for a wall in the garage or tearing the transmission out of an old grain truck, I really enjoyed those times together. I learned a lot about many things from my dad. These were all great memories from my past.
This past weekend I did something that I thought years ago, I would never do. In fact, I really stepped out of my "comfort zone" and allowed Abby, our almost 17 yr. old daughter, to experience this with me. Last November when our brother Mike died unexpectedly, it tore at the very fabric that holds our family together. He meant so much to each of us for so many different reasons. It's been an up and down year for me as well as other family members. Since his passing, I've been thinking about different ways we can honor his life. This past summer we had a golf outing raising some $$ for his kids education fund. That was a great time but I wanted to do something else. A few months ago, I started putting some ideas on paper for a tattoo. If you know me at all, you know I've never been a big fan of tattoos. Actually, I don't mind a discreetly placed tattoo that has some meaning or significance to the person. I really don't care for the "tramp stamps" or the "sleeves" and "full torso" tattoos. Especially the ones on the neck and sides of your face. That's just me.
So, exactly one year and one month after Mike's death I sat down with a very good artist and got my first tattoo. It's something that I put a lot of thought into and I feel it honors those in death and also those still sharing in our lives. My tattoo is not of some special image or photo. It's just words and letters. But these words and letters are very meaningful to me. At the top of my right arm it says "BAND OF BROTHERS". Below that is a "band" of letters that wraps around my arm. Between each letter is a red starburst. The letters are the first letter in each name of my brothers and some of my closest friends who have had an impact on my life. The red starbursts are a symbol of blood. Even though they are not "in the bloodline" these guys matter that much to me. I've known this for a long time, but getting through this past year helped me realize this again. That even though someone leaves your life well before you would expect, I have been surrounded by great friends, "brothers", who have made the journey a bit more barable. This tattoo honors them as well. Sometimes it seems awkward to express yourself in words, my brother Mike was not good in that catagory. But by his deeds and even in his quiet, gentle giant way, you knew where you stood with him. So, in his honor and in the "brotherhood" we share with those here on earth I got this tattoo.
I mentioned earlier, that I shared this time with my daughter, Abby. If you knew how I felt for a long time about tattoos, you would know how hard it was for me to allow her to get one. Several months ago, she had made a drawing that she wanted for a tattoo and had been talking to her mom {of course} about getting one. We have had that discussion in the past and my answer was an emphatical "NO". When she found out that I was getting one on Sunday she wanted to go with me. She said it was because "she didn't want me to chicken out" but I wasn't buying that ruse, I just didn't tell her that I wasn't.
I won't share with you here what her tattoo is because she wants some family members to see it first. I will say that it is beautiful and has some very significant meaning, just like her. I hope that for many, many years she will be able to look back on that day she got a tattoo with Dad, and it's as special a memory to her as it was and will be too me. I also hope that she understands just how much she is loved by her mother and I, her brother and sister and all of her family and friends. Sitting with her while she grit her teeth and made funny faces while the tattoo artist did his work was priceless. Without a doubt, the little bit of pain experienced was but a drop of water in a thimble compared to the realities of life. I have also learned that a tattoo isn't an "evil" thing and heck, I might even get another one some day. This will be my last post of 2009....so Merry Christmas to you all and a safe and happy 2010. That's my plan and that's the view from my stand!
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Thursday, December 17, 2009
The Christmas Spirit
8 days till Christmas, are you in the "Christmas Spirit"? What is the most important part of Christmas to you? As I'm sure many of you are doing, our family is in full swing with all the different things we do at Christmas. There's the local organization, People In Need, that we work with every year on grocery bagging day. On Saturday, 2700 bags of groceries to feed more than 500 families in our county, were bagged for delivery the next day. Our family rings bells for the Salvation Army. We also take part in "adopting" young children through a friends business that are in need and providing a Christmas for them. I'm not telling you everything we do and I'm certainly not sharing these things to brag. I'm just saying, our family gets really busy this time of year and these are a few examples.
I really don't think our family is much different from many that we know. We all get wrapped up in the activities surrounding Christmas, but sometimes we allow ourselves to get "wrapped up" {sorry, I know..not funny} in them that we forget why we celebrate Christmas. No, I'm not going to preach a sermon. I'm just saying, that I hope Christmas isn't for you, all about the things you get. I hope it's a time of gathering with family, a time of peace, enjoying the company of good friends, sharing a meal with someone you know or even a stranger. I hope that it's a time where you can share the love you have for others and that they too will return that love.
For younger kids, Christmas is a magical time. Enjoy that time with your kids or even someone elses kids. I know my kids have provided many lists of the things they want for Christmas. The lists seem unending. But the reality is, these are all just things, objects of their affection, even if it's only for a short time. Kids tend to have short memories when it comes to the positive things but they remember the negative things forever. Actually, I think many adults are the same way.
As I think of all the things that are important to me, I've decided this year that the thing that I want most for Christmas, is that our children would love and care about others more than I. Barb and I try to do our best as parents to model this, but we are flawed and we know it. We don't always do and say the right thing and it seems that's when they {our kids} chose to pay attention. {It's usually me more than Barb, I'm just saying!}
So I found this little quote by Pam Brown I thought would be appropriate to share.
"We expect too much at Christmas. It's got to be magical. It's got to go right. All of the Feasting and Fun. The perfect present and all of that anticpation. Here's a thought, take it easy. Love's the thing, the rest is tinsel."
Merry Christmas, and may the love that comes from that little baby in a manger 2000 years ago, embrace your hearts as you in turn share it with others! That's the view from my stand.
I really don't think our family is much different from many that we know. We all get wrapped up in the activities surrounding Christmas, but sometimes we allow ourselves to get "wrapped up" {sorry, I know..not funny} in them that we forget why we celebrate Christmas. No, I'm not going to preach a sermon. I'm just saying, that I hope Christmas isn't for you, all about the things you get. I hope it's a time of gathering with family, a time of peace, enjoying the company of good friends, sharing a meal with someone you know or even a stranger. I hope that it's a time where you can share the love you have for others and that they too will return that love.
For younger kids, Christmas is a magical time. Enjoy that time with your kids or even someone elses kids. I know my kids have provided many lists of the things they want for Christmas. The lists seem unending. But the reality is, these are all just things, objects of their affection, even if it's only for a short time. Kids tend to have short memories when it comes to the positive things but they remember the negative things forever. Actually, I think many adults are the same way.
As I think of all the things that are important to me, I've decided this year that the thing that I want most for Christmas, is that our children would love and care about others more than I. Barb and I try to do our best as parents to model this, but we are flawed and we know it. We don't always do and say the right thing and it seems that's when they {our kids} chose to pay attention. {It's usually me more than Barb, I'm just saying!}
So I found this little quote by Pam Brown I thought would be appropriate to share.
"We expect too much at Christmas. It's got to be magical. It's got to go right. All of the Feasting and Fun. The perfect present and all of that anticpation. Here's a thought, take it easy. Love's the thing, the rest is tinsel."
Merry Christmas, and may the love that comes from that little baby in a manger 2000 years ago, embrace your hearts as you in turn share it with others! That's the view from my stand.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
I'm Holding On..No Matter What!
Wow! The year has ground down to the final few weeks of December. We're trying to get into the Christmas cheer and get all those cards/letters out to everyone. As well as carrying out all of our regular Christmas season traditions/commitments that we have started. Our church has had some great worship and messages leading up to Christmas. Last night, a memory of my youth come to mind as I was considering the past weekend and it events.
First, the memory: In my pre-teen years, my friends grandparents had a cattle farm in another town about 35 miles away from where we lived. We would spend a lot of time there and there was always something to do. Lots of rolling hills on the farm, a creek running through it, {where I almost died, another story for another time} woods for exploring and hunting, and of course a great camping/campfire area. One of my favorite times to visit was in the winter time after a big snow. The place was like a winter wonderland and we were about to go on the sled ride of a lifetime. I'm pretty sure most of you have never taken a sled ride like this. My friends Grandpa or Uncle would pull the old tractor out of the shed and let it get "warmed up". While the tractor was getting ready, he would chain {yes..a log chain to be exact} what looked to be the hood of an old Oldsmobile, painted/rusted side down, to the back of the tractor. My friend had lots of family that lived in the area and whenever we went to "Grandpas Farm" it seemed like everyone showed up. Cousins, friends, aunts, uncles, brothers, sisters, everyone, wearing every stitch of clothing that could find and put on, would pile onto the hood of that Oldsmobile. Being from a big family, I was used to this kind of craziness, but to the newcomer, this was INSANE! When the tractor reved up and started over the first hill, it was "GAME ON!" The object to this X-Games style sled ride was to stay on. With anywhere from 6-16 people piled onto the car hood, that was quite a feat. It didn't take long to figure out that the best position is on the bottom, even if there were two more layers of people on top of you to start. Because once the tractor got up to cruising speed in the snow, the driver would start doing figure 8's, whoop-tee-whoops and whatever he could do to throw children from the wrecked Oldsmobile hood. Now, in todays world, that would be a lawsuit waiting to happen. But when things were much simpler, and that what was you did for fun, I submit that this would be the best sled ride of your life.
After the first couple of layers of kids had been tossed in a snow bank or up against a haystack in the field, it was time to get down to business. Usually is was my friend, one or two of his cousins and myself as the "last men holding". That's when you had to get creative. Oh, did I mention there were "no rules" in this game? Now, while the driver is doing everything he can to throw you from the make-shift sled, the other passengers are trying to "help" you too. It's like a full blown WWF cage match taking place on the upside-down hood of an Oldsmobile in the middle of a pasture, and the only thing you can do is hold on for your life! Of couse, a swift kick or dislodging a passengers hand from the hood of the car could mean you have a little more space to battle. After a couple more guys peeled off of the hood it was down to a cousin and I. I decided right then, I'm holding on..no matter what! After what seemed like an eternity, but was probably only minutes, I was able to apply an elbow just in the right place to see a dust storm of snow and carrhart overalls go end over end. I was victorious! Whenever we got down to the last person, they were declared the victor, and then we all piled on again and started all over. We would do this until the elements got the best of us, and we would retire to the farmhouse for hot chocolate. Those were fun times.
Flash forward to this weekend: This past week was the first part of the Ohio shotgun season for deer hunting. I've spent a number of days out bow hunting with my good friend Brad. The last 5 deer that I've killed has been with a bow. {If you don't count the truck. See earlier post} In fact, we have taped some hunts and posted them on my FB page. But on Sunday, I decided I was going to change the routine and head to the woods with a gun. Brad came along to video in case we called in the "big boy" we saw last time we were out. Usually, without even thinking about it, I would grab my Mossberg 500 "Deerslayer" with the huge scope that I've used to kill many deer. When I opened the gun cabinet, I took a minute to assess the plan. After calculating what my likely shot would be, I decided on taking the Remington 870 pump with the camo shoulder strap and open sights. {Old school} This is a familiar gun to me because I had one many years ago. But I have never shot this particular gun. This was one of my brother Mike's guns that he left to me in his will. I snatched the gun out of the cabinet and put it in a traveling case and headed out with Brad on the afternoon hunt. We got set up to hunt and started glassing the fields for any activity. While I sat in my stand I admired the dark wood stock on this 870, darker than most I've seen. It was mighty cold out and when I lifted my gloved hand up to wipe away a runny nose, I could take in the lingering smell of Marlboro cigarettes on the camo shoulder strap. That brought back a flood of other memories and I found myself looking down at the shotgun rather than on the fields and fence lines. I'm not sure how much time went by, but the noise of Brad moving above me rattled me back to the task at hand. As the day wore on, a couple of does moved along the fence line across the field and night seemed to be in a hurry to meet us on this over-cast day. We climbed down without getting an opportunity to shoot any video or deer. But for some reason my senses seemed so much sharper than normal. I told Brad that I could really smell the cover scent he had put on a dragline more now than when it was fresh 3 hours earlier. But I didn't tell him, that the scent of Marlboro cigarettes was still, somehow, in my nose and on my mind as I gripped the shotgun and we made the long walk back to my truck. I'm holding on..no matter what!
That's the view from my stand!
First, the memory: In my pre-teen years, my friends grandparents had a cattle farm in another town about 35 miles away from where we lived. We would spend a lot of time there and there was always something to do. Lots of rolling hills on the farm, a creek running through it, {where I almost died, another story for another time} woods for exploring and hunting, and of course a great camping/campfire area. One of my favorite times to visit was in the winter time after a big snow. The place was like a winter wonderland and we were about to go on the sled ride of a lifetime. I'm pretty sure most of you have never taken a sled ride like this. My friends Grandpa or Uncle would pull the old tractor out of the shed and let it get "warmed up". While the tractor was getting ready, he would chain {yes..a log chain to be exact} what looked to be the hood of an old Oldsmobile, painted/rusted side down, to the back of the tractor. My friend had lots of family that lived in the area and whenever we went to "Grandpas Farm" it seemed like everyone showed up. Cousins, friends, aunts, uncles, brothers, sisters, everyone, wearing every stitch of clothing that could find and put on, would pile onto the hood of that Oldsmobile. Being from a big family, I was used to this kind of craziness, but to the newcomer, this was INSANE! When the tractor reved up and started over the first hill, it was "GAME ON!" The object to this X-Games style sled ride was to stay on. With anywhere from 6-16 people piled onto the car hood, that was quite a feat. It didn't take long to figure out that the best position is on the bottom, even if there were two more layers of people on top of you to start. Because once the tractor got up to cruising speed in the snow, the driver would start doing figure 8's, whoop-tee-whoops and whatever he could do to throw children from the wrecked Oldsmobile hood. Now, in todays world, that would be a lawsuit waiting to happen. But when things were much simpler, and that what was you did for fun, I submit that this would be the best sled ride of your life.
After the first couple of layers of kids had been tossed in a snow bank or up against a haystack in the field, it was time to get down to business. Usually is was my friend, one or two of his cousins and myself as the "last men holding". That's when you had to get creative. Oh, did I mention there were "no rules" in this game? Now, while the driver is doing everything he can to throw you from the make-shift sled, the other passengers are trying to "help" you too. It's like a full blown WWF cage match taking place on the upside-down hood of an Oldsmobile in the middle of a pasture, and the only thing you can do is hold on for your life! Of couse, a swift kick or dislodging a passengers hand from the hood of the car could mean you have a little more space to battle. After a couple more guys peeled off of the hood it was down to a cousin and I. I decided right then, I'm holding on..no matter what! After what seemed like an eternity, but was probably only minutes, I was able to apply an elbow just in the right place to see a dust storm of snow and carrhart overalls go end over end. I was victorious! Whenever we got down to the last person, they were declared the victor, and then we all piled on again and started all over. We would do this until the elements got the best of us, and we would retire to the farmhouse for hot chocolate. Those were fun times.
Flash forward to this weekend: This past week was the first part of the Ohio shotgun season for deer hunting. I've spent a number of days out bow hunting with my good friend Brad. The last 5 deer that I've killed has been with a bow. {If you don't count the truck. See earlier post} In fact, we have taped some hunts and posted them on my FB page. But on Sunday, I decided I was going to change the routine and head to the woods with a gun. Brad came along to video in case we called in the "big boy" we saw last time we were out. Usually, without even thinking about it, I would grab my Mossberg 500 "Deerslayer" with the huge scope that I've used to kill many deer. When I opened the gun cabinet, I took a minute to assess the plan. After calculating what my likely shot would be, I decided on taking the Remington 870 pump with the camo shoulder strap and open sights. {Old school} This is a familiar gun to me because I had one many years ago. But I have never shot this particular gun. This was one of my brother Mike's guns that he left to me in his will. I snatched the gun out of the cabinet and put it in a traveling case and headed out with Brad on the afternoon hunt. We got set up to hunt and started glassing the fields for any activity. While I sat in my stand I admired the dark wood stock on this 870, darker than most I've seen. It was mighty cold out and when I lifted my gloved hand up to wipe away a runny nose, I could take in the lingering smell of Marlboro cigarettes on the camo shoulder strap. That brought back a flood of other memories and I found myself looking down at the shotgun rather than on the fields and fence lines. I'm not sure how much time went by, but the noise of Brad moving above me rattled me back to the task at hand. As the day wore on, a couple of does moved along the fence line across the field and night seemed to be in a hurry to meet us on this over-cast day. We climbed down without getting an opportunity to shoot any video or deer. But for some reason my senses seemed so much sharper than normal. I told Brad that I could really smell the cover scent he had put on a dragline more now than when it was fresh 3 hours earlier. But I didn't tell him, that the scent of Marlboro cigarettes was still, somehow, in my nose and on my mind as I gripped the shotgun and we made the long walk back to my truck. I'm holding on..no matter what!
That's the view from my stand!
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
A Great Weekend With Some Swell People!
Soo..this past weekend Kevin, Melissa, Austin, Avery and Anna Claire Place drove all the way over from Osman, Illinois to our home in Delaware, Ohio. The girls went out Friday night to some stupid movie about vampires and werewolves and KP and I hung out with the kiddos. Saturday started with a quick breakfast because Avery wanted to show me some of her fishing skillz. So Avery, AC, KP and I went out to the Gossing Pond to try our luck. Unfortunately, the fish were not cooperating and KP got the only bluegill that showed any interest. I'm pretty sure he foul-hooked it. He was also able to do something I've never seen before. Let me remind you that I've taken LOTS of children, including some handicapped kids, out to the pond to teach them to fish and learn about conservation. They sometimes beat the water to a lather with all the casting and "practice casts" it amazes me that we actually catch a lot of fish there. But KP showed them all up. Somehow,he managed to hang his line up in the very top of the willow tree that sits right on the water. Now, to be fair, I have caught a lower limb before trying to flip a Jitterbug under the branches to the waiting bass there. And I've taken the lines of many over zealous casts out of the lower branches as well. But KP gets the props for catching the top of the only tree right on the water.
After our little fishing expedition, we gathered up our party goods and headed down to Woodland for the OSU vs Michigan game party. Obviously our family didn't really care about the game, but the Places got to meet some of our good friends and hang out at one of our favorite places to relax and enjoy life. Later that evening, we took them to the Columbus Zoo to see the awesome display of Christmas Season lights they call "WildLights". The Zoo had more than 3,000,000 lights on display with other decorations and some of the animals were even enjoying all the hustle and bustle of the zoo goers. I think the kids really enjoyed the displays but it was pretty crowded and they were getting hungry, After a quick dinner at "Noodles" we went home for some hot chocolate and a Christmas movie. Yes, we watched a Christmas movie before Thanksgiving, twice!
We sent the Places off Sunday morning with a breakfast of scrambled eggs, applewood smoked bacon, and my homemade pancakes with wild blueberries from Canada in them. It was quite good. We thouroughly enjoyed their visit and wished more of the family would take the opportunity to come see us sometimes. We love seeing everyone and the drive is the same distance whether we make it...or they do.
WE look forward to seeing everyone at Christmas and we hope that all our friends and family have a happy and safe Thanksgiving, especially if you're traveling. We all have so much to be thankful for and as for me, well, I'm thankful for all of you! That's the view from my stand!
After our little fishing expedition, we gathered up our party goods and headed down to Woodland for the OSU vs Michigan game party. Obviously our family didn't really care about the game, but the Places got to meet some of our good friends and hang out at one of our favorite places to relax and enjoy life. Later that evening, we took them to the Columbus Zoo to see the awesome display of Christmas Season lights they call "WildLights". The Zoo had more than 3,000,000 lights on display with other decorations and some of the animals were even enjoying all the hustle and bustle of the zoo goers. I think the kids really enjoyed the displays but it was pretty crowded and they were getting hungry, After a quick dinner at "Noodles" we went home for some hot chocolate and a Christmas movie. Yes, we watched a Christmas movie before Thanksgiving, twice!
We sent the Places off Sunday morning with a breakfast of scrambled eggs, applewood smoked bacon, and my homemade pancakes with wild blueberries from Canada in them. It was quite good. We thouroughly enjoyed their visit and wished more of the family would take the opportunity to come see us sometimes. We love seeing everyone and the drive is the same distance whether we make it...or they do.
WE look forward to seeing everyone at Christmas and we hope that all our friends and family have a happy and safe Thanksgiving, especially if you're traveling. We all have so much to be thankful for and as for me, well, I'm thankful for all of you! That's the view from my stand!
Friday, November 20, 2009
Welcome New Followers!
Just wanted to say hello and thanks for reading to two new followers. Adam {BigNate} and Cindy Green Butler. Thanks for the kind words "Nate". Cindy is a HS classmate and always a classy person. Welcome again. There are fish in the pond named for each of you. Adams fish is purple and Cindys is Teahouse Blue...whatever color that is. LOL! To feed the fish, just move your mouse over the pond and click. It will leave "fish food" and they WILL come and get it.
If you're not signed up as a regular reader of this blog....why not?? Hope everyone has a swell weekend. Look for another post next week. Thanks!
"The Artful Dodger"
If you're not signed up as a regular reader of this blog....why not?? Hope everyone has a swell weekend. Look for another post next week. Thanks!
"The Artful Dodger"
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Some Anniversaries Suck
We are reminded, especially this time of year, that there a lot of reasons for us to be thankful. And I really try to be. There are also a lot of dates where we find ourselves celebrating anniversaries; such as weddings, birthdays, first dates, cancer recovery, addiction recovery, etc. Those are all great things to celebrate and remember. Especially your wedding date if you are married. {Just a helpful reminder guys}
Tomorrow is the 1 year mark {Im not calling it anniversary} of the day my brother Mike died. It's been a very tough year for many of us. Mike was not only my brother but also one of my very best friends. Almost a year later and the questions still invade my sleep. The "whys" "what ifs" "wish I would haves", all these things that are unanswered hang in my mind like a bad dream. But unfortunately, it's not a bad dream. As I had written earlier in another post, it does get easier with time but the hurt will never go away.
Earlier this week Abby was doing a journalism project where you had to interview someone about a place they have visited. Abby decided to interview me about our trips to northern Ontario where we go each summer for great fishing trips. On a last minute cancellation a few years back, I took Abby up with "the guys" when she was 14 so she knows how special this place is to me. One of the questions she asked was, "what is one of your favorite memories from this trip?" The instant I thought about it, well, I couldn't even talk for a few minutes. I was overwhelmed. Once I regained composure, I told her about the trip I took her Uncle Mike with me. Every since my first trip up there in 1998, I had tried to convince him to go. Finally, in 2005, we were able to make it happen. We were looking forward to this trip the entire year. {Like we do every year!} We had to schedule this trip earlier in July because it was the only time some of the guys could go. As luck would have it, the mayfly hatch came late that year and we found ourselves in the middle of it. If you're not familiar with walleye fishing, a mayfly hatch means the walleye have plenty to eat so they are probably not going to be interested in your bait. Well, fishing was tough but we still managed to catch enough fish for some shore lunches and bring fish home. But my favorite part of this trip was on the very first day Mike and I went out fishing. This was his first time fishing for walleye or pike. We headed out around South Island and we were casting and slow retrieving for walleye. It wasn't long before BAM, he had one on. I knew that whatever it was, it was BIG! As he fought this Canadian monster, we laughed and laughed. It took line out and he would get some back. It reminded us of another fishing adventure we had at Clinton Lake, "play it out, play it out!" I'll tell this story another time.
What seemed like a long time, but in reality was probably only a few minutes, he finally got it to the boat. We thought we had won as I was preparing to net this thing. My first thought was, I don't think our nets big enough. But when that huge pike finally got to the surface beside the boat, he had other things in mind. With the flick of his head and swish of his tail, the line snapped and like a ghost, he was gone. Back to the black depths of the lake. We were a little disappointed not getting it in the boat but man, was that cool. We sat down and lit up a smoke and talked about that fish for 10 minutes, not even fishing. Just talking. Yep, one of my favorite memories.
I guess it's memories like that that helps keep us sane when life happens. I miss Mike, a lot. I miss the talks we used to have; I miss riding along with him in his truck on an errand to help someone out; I miss watching games with him; I miss spending time outdoors with him; I miss sharing books with him; I miss the family time with him; I miss his smile and his laugh. I'm okay with remembering these things, I have to. No, I need too. But please don't ask me to call this an "anniversary" because I just can't celebrate a loss like this. Maybe someday, but not now, not yet. That's the view from my stand.
Tomorrow is the 1 year mark {Im not calling it anniversary} of the day my brother Mike died. It's been a very tough year for many of us. Mike was not only my brother but also one of my very best friends. Almost a year later and the questions still invade my sleep. The "whys" "what ifs" "wish I would haves", all these things that are unanswered hang in my mind like a bad dream. But unfortunately, it's not a bad dream. As I had written earlier in another post, it does get easier with time but the hurt will never go away.
Earlier this week Abby was doing a journalism project where you had to interview someone about a place they have visited. Abby decided to interview me about our trips to northern Ontario where we go each summer for great fishing trips. On a last minute cancellation a few years back, I took Abby up with "the guys" when she was 14 so she knows how special this place is to me. One of the questions she asked was, "what is one of your favorite memories from this trip?" The instant I thought about it, well, I couldn't even talk for a few minutes. I was overwhelmed. Once I regained composure, I told her about the trip I took her Uncle Mike with me. Every since my first trip up there in 1998, I had tried to convince him to go. Finally, in 2005, we were able to make it happen. We were looking forward to this trip the entire year. {Like we do every year!} We had to schedule this trip earlier in July because it was the only time some of the guys could go. As luck would have it, the mayfly hatch came late that year and we found ourselves in the middle of it. If you're not familiar with walleye fishing, a mayfly hatch means the walleye have plenty to eat so they are probably not going to be interested in your bait. Well, fishing was tough but we still managed to catch enough fish for some shore lunches and bring fish home. But my favorite part of this trip was on the very first day Mike and I went out fishing. This was his first time fishing for walleye or pike. We headed out around South Island and we were casting and slow retrieving for walleye. It wasn't long before BAM, he had one on. I knew that whatever it was, it was BIG! As he fought this Canadian monster, we laughed and laughed. It took line out and he would get some back. It reminded us of another fishing adventure we had at Clinton Lake, "play it out, play it out!" I'll tell this story another time.
What seemed like a long time, but in reality was probably only a few minutes, he finally got it to the boat. We thought we had won as I was preparing to net this thing. My first thought was, I don't think our nets big enough. But when that huge pike finally got to the surface beside the boat, he had other things in mind. With the flick of his head and swish of his tail, the line snapped and like a ghost, he was gone. Back to the black depths of the lake. We were a little disappointed not getting it in the boat but man, was that cool. We sat down and lit up a smoke and talked about that fish for 10 minutes, not even fishing. Just talking. Yep, one of my favorite memories.
I guess it's memories like that that helps keep us sane when life happens. I miss Mike, a lot. I miss the talks we used to have; I miss riding along with him in his truck on an errand to help someone out; I miss watching games with him; I miss spending time outdoors with him; I miss sharing books with him; I miss the family time with him; I miss his smile and his laugh. I'm okay with remembering these things, I have to. No, I need too. But please don't ask me to call this an "anniversary" because I just can't celebrate a loss like this. Maybe someday, but not now, not yet. That's the view from my stand.
Friday, November 13, 2009
Deer Hunting Season..... With A Chevy!
The picture you see on my blog page is actually taken from my favorite deer stand. On Wednesday November 11th, I was up early on my way to that very stand. Why, you might ask? Well, as many of you know I'm both an avid reader and rabid outdoors man. I love to be outside! Two of the monthly publications I receive said this about the hunting season in the Midwest. "Your best chances of taking a deer this season will be on Nov. 11th. They believed that the date is when the deer are really moving into the rut. The "rut" is best described as the time when bucks throw all caution into the wind and get out of their comfort zones and chase the does with reckless abandon. Much like most males get when they leave the "nest" of their parents home after HS graduation.
Well, one such buck met his fate that early morning on the 11th. I had left home heading to my stand only to find another hunter had moved into my general hunting area. Not wanting to miss my chance at a deer this perfect morning, I got back on the road heading to another hunting spot. No sooner than I was back on the road, this vehicle in front of me decided to drive 20 mph out on an open country road. Didn't this moron realize it's THE perfect day to be hunting and he was impeding my success. So, being the patient driver that I am, I stomped on my accelerator shooting me quickly past the oaf who was daydreaming behind the wheel. I had no more gotten by that vehicle and back into the correct lane and...BAM!! Out of nowhere came this 8 pt. buck running north to south. He proceeded to bounce across the front of my truck bumper, the grill, and then tearing off most the trim and the headlight on the passenger side. What an impact!
It's hard to believe with all the time I've spent in the country, and in the outdoors from the time I was a teen, this is the very first deer that I have hit with a vehicle. Needless to say, the deer did not walk away from such a wreck. Unfortunately, neither did my truck. It's currently at the repair shop and it's hard telling when it will be fixed. The good thing in all of this is this, I DID walk away from the wreck. I've been sore the last couple of days, but considering stories from other deer/vehicle collisions, I was pretty lucky. I also have been reminded something that I've known a long time, but apparently I needed this reminder. When traveling in the dark through the country in the fall, erpecially during the rut, slow down and be cautious. Sounds simple enough, but like a buck in rut, I threw all caution into the wind and the results were costly. I'm very thankful that I'm here to share this lesson with you. Please be safe and aware of your surroundings when driving through the rural areas where you live. You are loved and you matter to your family. Nothing, even hunting on the PERFECT day, is worth more than that! That's the view from my stand!
Well, one such buck met his fate that early morning on the 11th. I had left home heading to my stand only to find another hunter had moved into my general hunting area. Not wanting to miss my chance at a deer this perfect morning, I got back on the road heading to another hunting spot. No sooner than I was back on the road, this vehicle in front of me decided to drive 20 mph out on an open country road. Didn't this moron realize it's THE perfect day to be hunting and he was impeding my success. So, being the patient driver that I am, I stomped on my accelerator shooting me quickly past the oaf who was daydreaming behind the wheel. I had no more gotten by that vehicle and back into the correct lane and...BAM!! Out of nowhere came this 8 pt. buck running north to south. He proceeded to bounce across the front of my truck bumper, the grill, and then tearing off most the trim and the headlight on the passenger side. What an impact!
It's hard to believe with all the time I've spent in the country, and in the outdoors from the time I was a teen, this is the very first deer that I have hit with a vehicle. Needless to say, the deer did not walk away from such a wreck. Unfortunately, neither did my truck. It's currently at the repair shop and it's hard telling when it will be fixed. The good thing in all of this is this, I DID walk away from the wreck. I've been sore the last couple of days, but considering stories from other deer/vehicle collisions, I was pretty lucky. I also have been reminded something that I've known a long time, but apparently I needed this reminder. When traveling in the dark through the country in the fall, erpecially during the rut, slow down and be cautious. Sounds simple enough, but like a buck in rut, I threw all caution into the wind and the results were costly. I'm very thankful that I'm here to share this lesson with you. Please be safe and aware of your surroundings when driving through the rural areas where you live. You are loved and you matter to your family. Nothing, even hunting on the PERFECT day, is worth more than that! That's the view from my stand!
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