Cha Cha Cha Changes!

You know, I thought that I would be posting to my blog a lot more the last few weeks but as you can see, I have not. On Feb. 28^th I went in for a total knee replacement on my left knee. I’m not saying it’s that big of a deal, lots of people have had knee replacements. And many people we know are struggling with much more serious issues, cancer, MS, alcoholism, broken families, etc. I suppose I decided in my mind, that I wasn’t going to do a “day-by-day” journal of my rehab. Today is exactly 6 weeks since surgery. I feel like I’ve being doing pretty good with my PT appointments, exercising at home, and working out at the YMCA. Unfortunately, I don’t think my knee is where I hoped it would be at 6 weeks out. People, who know me well, know that I don’t like sitting around or ‘taking it easy’. My job, which I love, requires me to be very active and working in the outdoors. When the Doc said, “your recovery time will be somewhere in the 6-8 week time frame”, I hear, “you should be back to work in 6 weeks.” Maybe my expectations were not realistic, but right now I still walk with a pretty significant limp. When I have to walk long distances or be on my feet for a long period of time, I feel like the use of my walking cane is necessary. My next appointment with my surgeon is tomorrow, so I’ll get a better idea of what he’s thinking about my rehab and return to work. I’ll keep you posted. I’ve thanked them many times, but I want to say again, “A huge THANKS to Barb, Abby, Mariah and DJ, for all the extra assistance; water refills, bringing extra pillows, running to the store for scripts, holding doors, massaging leg & foot, and all those other little things that mattered way more than you’ll ever know. I love and appreciate you all!” 

Since my last post, we’ve had some pretty good times and some changes in our lives. The kids were on Spring Break last week and we wanted to do something besides hang around the house. Barb’s work has been crazy and she couldn’t get any time off, so she couldn’t join us on our road trip to Illinois. We took off Wednesday afternoon and returned home Saturday evening. It was a good time to spend with Mariah and DJ and they got to experience some of the things from my childhood that keeps my heart and mind close to my hometown. The kids and I spent a night with Grandma and the other nights with Steve and Nancy. I took them to one of my favorite childhood spots, Lake of the Woods, in Mahomet. There they climbed the bell tower and played and climbed on everything at the playground. I told them about all the times we climbed the tower and sled down the hills around the tower. They thought that was pretty cool. I think their favorite part was going to the Mansfield General Store. It all started last Sunday night when Deej and I were watching the 1971 version of “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.” DJ asked if there really were candy stores like the one at the beginning of the movie, when we were kids. So I told him about our little towns General Store and Friday afternoon I took them and their cousins to see the old time candy store. Of course the store was more than just candy, but they had all the old stuff that we used to get when we were kids. Stuff like Dots, Oh Henry bar, candy cigarettes and cigar gum, Sixlets, Lemonheads, Boston Baked Beans, you get the idea. They thought that was all really neat, but when they saw that they also offered ice cream, the ice cream won them over.

While we were back, I also got the chance to sit down with a couple of long time friends who also have/had teenage children and we spent a lot of time talking about how we parent and how our teenage children know way more than we do. Yes, of course I’m being a bit sarcastic, but I guess it’s pretty much been like that since the beginning of time. We came to the conclusion, that after they get to a certain age they are going to do whatever they want, parents be damned. We just hope that some of the things that we have taught them in 18 years stick, and they make some good decisions with their future in mind. While we were in Illinois, Abby moved out into her first apartment with a girlfriend of hers. She’s going to try and balance going to work, going to school and keeping her bills paid. Obviously, I want her to succeed and do well in preparing for her future. Our kids mean more to us and we love them more than they could ever know or imagine. But in my ‘Dad mind’, she’s not ready for the extra stress of all the bills and ‘incidentals’ that come with living on your own. I could be wrong, and I’ll probably be wrong again, but it’s extremely hard for me not to say anything when I think something is not right. It’s just how I’m wired. And all the Dad’s out there can relate with me when I say, no matter what you say or do, you’re a ‘jerk’ no matter what, especially if it’s not what they WANT to hear. Not to mention the tension it creates with the spousal unit. {Oh wait, I just did!} I guess time will tell and time usually smoothes things over pretty well. And I’m pretty fortunate that my spousal unit is pretty forgiving and broke in after 28+ years, so we’ll be fine. I’ve never been the ‘I told you so’ type of person; in fact, many times I hope I’m wrong in my opinions and/or advice. But because our children are growing up in an “entitlement” society, they don’t realize that the advice parents are giving them is usually based on experience and wisdom, not just something we’re pulling out of a hat to disagree with them. I guess this is where you have to let them “experience life” themselves and hopefully learn something that helps them to be the person God intended them to be.

The hard lesson for me is realizing that it’s great to have expectations for your children, and you hope they make good decisions for themselves and their future. But inevitably, they are going to carve their own path through the wilderness. And we’ll continue to hold onto the hope that something you said or did will resonate in their mind and they will remember all the blood, sweat and tears you put into their lives, loving them only like a parent can. Changes….you gotta love them. That’s the view from my stand!