So..when you read these posts have you been feeding my fish. As you see, there's another fish in pond. An orange one for my newest follower, Lauren. To feed the fish just run your mouse over the pond and click. It will leave fish food. When you become a "follower" then I add another fish to the pond. Will you be next? What color might your fish be?
As you read last week, we were in Illinois for a wedding. Tomorrow, we're heading back to Illinois for some family stuff. Saturday night there will be a Halloween Party at my brother Steve's house. I also mentioned last week that last year at this Halloween Party, it was the last time family was together before the unexpected death of our brother, Mike. We were not able to be there last year. Since his death I've struggled with a few things, but most of all with my memory of our last conversation. I really don't know what else to do too try and remember something like this. I know I want to remember, there's no question about that. I wish I had the ability to turn back time, I wish we had been at the party last Halloween, I wish I had talked to him in early Nov. but of course wishing this is silly, right?
I guess that somewhere deep down inside, I'm hoping this weekend will help in the healing process of losing someone you love so much. Not just healing for myself, but for other family members as well. His wife, his children, the other sibs, we all miss him very much. I sat down with some of his children during the holidays last year, and we talked about the hurt, the lost sleep, the boxes of tissues losing him has caused. I told them that as each hour, each day, each week, each month goes by, it gets a little easier to deal with it. And it really does, but it will never go away. WE don't want it to go away because he really meant that much to us. I'm sure each of us have had our "rough days" over the last 11 months, I know I've had mine. But I try to keep the faith and take heart in knowing that there's still a part of him here; in his children, in his wife and in me.
It may sound a bit selfish, but I really want to remember our last conversation. I know that it wasn't bad or anything like that, but I need this thread. I guess what I hope for this weekend, is a trigger, something that will help jog my memory. If that doesn't happen, I will be happy in knowing that just getting together with his wife and kids and some of our siblings will somehow help in the healing process. The reality is we don't have all the answers and probably will never have them. Another reality is, the love of God and family is strong enough to combat all the doubts, fears, shortfalls, and hurts that our hearts endure. Of this I'm sure. That is the view from my stand!
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Monday, October 26, 2009
Life...sometimes there are no answers!
This past weekend has been a mixture of all kinds of feelings in such a short time. Traveling to Illinois for a family wedding without 2/5ths of our family just didn't feel right. The event was wonderful and we're very happy for Joe & Elisa. They will have a long, happy life together. But I guess I've gotten into the habit/groove of sharing all things with Barb. So, it was great, but not perfect for me.
I did get to have some good conversation with a few family members over the weekend. I always look forward to talking with Joyce, my brother Mike's wife. It's less than a month from being a year since Mike left us unexpectedly. We all miss him greatly, but for me, I want answers. That probably sounds selfish and I'm okay with that. I feel as though something happened that shouldn't have. Mike was not in terrible health. Todays technology and training of personnel in the EMS/First Responder/Medical field is of high standards and created to sustain someone until the trained/qualified help arrives. Let me be clear, I'm not blaming anyone, I just need answers. There was a nurse on staff and present when he collapsed. What did she do when she arrived on the scene? WE can't seem to get any answers, or at least consistent ones.
Halloween is next weekend and it was Halloween last year when some of the family was together with Mike for the last time. We weren't there. I rack my brain and try to remember when I last talked to Mike on the phone before then. I'm sure we laughed about something, talked about fishing, asked about each others kids, and closed with our regular good byes. But I can't remember...and I want too. I feel cheated and I want some more answers, but they are not there.
Yesterday, we had returned home from Illinois for only a short time when we received the message that Melissa's Dad {brother Jim's Melissa}had lost his battle with cancer. They are a close family as well and the next few weeks will be difficult for them. He had Hospice care and they were preparing themselves for this day. But are you ever really ready? Doctors are wrong all the time. I guess as I get older I'm also getting more cynical. I hope not, because I believe that most people are good. I just need some answers. Many of my friends have the same beliefs as I do. "Life, in all it's glory, will continue to be a mystery. There are just some things we won't have answers to until our time here is over."
I guess until that time, I'll keep wondering why, I'll keep searching for the answers that will bring some sort of peace, and I'll keep loving my family and friends the way they love me. That's the view from my stand!
I did get to have some good conversation with a few family members over the weekend. I always look forward to talking with Joyce, my brother Mike's wife. It's less than a month from being a year since Mike left us unexpectedly. We all miss him greatly, but for me, I want answers. That probably sounds selfish and I'm okay with that. I feel as though something happened that shouldn't have. Mike was not in terrible health. Todays technology and training of personnel in the EMS/First Responder/Medical field is of high standards and created to sustain someone until the trained/qualified help arrives. Let me be clear, I'm not blaming anyone, I just need answers. There was a nurse on staff and present when he collapsed. What did she do when she arrived on the scene? WE can't seem to get any answers, or at least consistent ones.
Halloween is next weekend and it was Halloween last year when some of the family was together with Mike for the last time. We weren't there. I rack my brain and try to remember when I last talked to Mike on the phone before then. I'm sure we laughed about something, talked about fishing, asked about each others kids, and closed with our regular good byes. But I can't remember...and I want too. I feel cheated and I want some more answers, but they are not there.
Yesterday, we had returned home from Illinois for only a short time when we received the message that Melissa's Dad {brother Jim's Melissa}had lost his battle with cancer. They are a close family as well and the next few weeks will be difficult for them. He had Hospice care and they were preparing themselves for this day. But are you ever really ready? Doctors are wrong all the time. I guess as I get older I'm also getting more cynical. I hope not, because I believe that most people are good. I just need some answers. Many of my friends have the same beliefs as I do. "Life, in all it's glory, will continue to be a mystery. There are just some things we won't have answers to until our time here is over."
I guess until that time, I'll keep wondering why, I'll keep searching for the answers that will bring some sort of peace, and I'll keep loving my family and friends the way they love me. That's the view from my stand!
Monday, October 19, 2009
Fall...yeah..my favorite!
This has been a pretty crazy year if you're paying attention to our local weather. We had a very wet spring, a week or maybe two of summer, a week of fall, and now we're already experiencing low 30's degree nights in mid-October. Where have all the global warming zealots gone?? I remember a birthday {Oct. 8th in case you missed it} when I was young, where we had snow flurries. Crazy, huh? The late summer/fall season has bought about plenty of rain as well. So much so, that the farmers still have lots of crops still in the fields. I don't mind hunting over a bean field, but standing corn is another issue.
I don't know about you, but my thoughts are this; our seasons year-to-year are cyclical. Yeah, maybe in the last 500 years we've had a shift of temps somewhere in the neighborhood of 1.7 degrees. Can we blame the cows/pigs/horses/sheep for passing to much gas? That's ridiculous. I think man is inherently bad for the environement. But, I also believe that God pretty much has this thing under control. He made the earth, the sun, the moon, he brushed the stars across the sky like an oil painter working on his canvas. He created all the animals and yes, he created you and I. So, if he's really that good at making these things, I think I'll trust Him in making them last for us until He's ready to be done with them. That's the view from my stand!
I don't know about you, but my thoughts are this; our seasons year-to-year are cyclical. Yeah, maybe in the last 500 years we've had a shift of temps somewhere in the neighborhood of 1.7 degrees. Can we blame the cows/pigs/horses/sheep for passing to much gas? That's ridiculous. I think man is inherently bad for the environement. But, I also believe that God pretty much has this thing under control. He made the earth, the sun, the moon, he brushed the stars across the sky like an oil painter working on his canvas. He created all the animals and yes, he created you and I. So, if he's really that good at making these things, I think I'll trust Him in making them last for us until He's ready to be done with them. That's the view from my stand!
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
What Is Your Sign?
I know...you thought you would sneak onto my blog and I would have your Horoscope for the week posted. Not exactly. You see, I think most of that stuff is bogus crap that people only use when the posting applies to what they are dealing with that day. The reality is, you could make general assumptions every day {like they do in the local paper} and it will apply to almost every Aquarius. "How did they know I was going through this?"{big eye roll}
The signs that I'm talking about are the signs your body gives you. After you reach a certain age, you just know somethings going on by how your body reacts. For example, when I get nervous or become stressed, I get "fever sores" on my lips. Weird, huh? But it's totally consistent with the times that I feel anxiety. Now you are thinking, what is Tim anxious about? No?
Well. as many of you know, I'm running for City Council in our beautiful town of Delaware, Ohio. Delaware is a town of about 40,000 people and we really love it. It's a great town to raise a family and the people here are awesome. Tomorrow night is "Candidates Night" and this is set up so the people in the community that don't know you can come out to see what your platform might be. I know what I want for the city, but this is still an unknown to me. I've never run for a political office before, so I don't know what to expect in the way of opposition. I have heard a few horror stories of what some local candidates have done during a heated race. There are 3 seats on Council up for election and there are 7 candidates.
I'm confident that I can serve the city well in this capacity, I'm just worried that I will stutter or answer a question from out of left field, poorly. Probably normal to have these feelings of doubt but neverless, they are there. In the mean time, my upperlip is beginning to look like the Hindenburg and there is nothing that can stop it! Aaarrrrggghhhhh!! That's the view from my stand!
The signs that I'm talking about are the signs your body gives you. After you reach a certain age, you just know somethings going on by how your body reacts. For example, when I get nervous or become stressed, I get "fever sores" on my lips. Weird, huh? But it's totally consistent with the times that I feel anxiety. Now you are thinking, what is Tim anxious about? No?
Well. as many of you know, I'm running for City Council in our beautiful town of Delaware, Ohio. Delaware is a town of about 40,000 people and we really love it. It's a great town to raise a family and the people here are awesome. Tomorrow night is "Candidates Night" and this is set up so the people in the community that don't know you can come out to see what your platform might be. I know what I want for the city, but this is still an unknown to me. I've never run for a political office before, so I don't know what to expect in the way of opposition. I have heard a few horror stories of what some local candidates have done during a heated race. There are 3 seats on Council up for election and there are 7 candidates.
I'm confident that I can serve the city well in this capacity, I'm just worried that I will stutter or answer a question from out of left field, poorly. Probably normal to have these feelings of doubt but neverless, they are there. In the mean time, my upperlip is beginning to look like the Hindenburg and there is nothing that can stop it! Aaarrrrggghhhhh!! That's the view from my stand!
Monday, October 12, 2009
Cruising
This is one of those posts I warned you about. I was just talking to some close friends and we were discussing places/things we would like to go/do. They had mentioned that for years they had no desire to go on a cruise, then they took one. My mindset has been pretty much the same as theres. But now they say that it was their absolute favorite vacation. Hmmm....so I'm watching this show on the Queen Elizabeth II cruise ship. Did you know that on a cruise ship in a 24 hour period, 3,000 people generate the same amount of garbage that a small town of 40,000 people do in a week? Does that say something to you? My first thought was, Holy Crap!! Then is showed the wasted food, paper products, what happens when there's a spreading illness on board, the salt water turned into drinking water...etc. The things are floating cities!
Now, I've always been one for adventure and I'll probably take a cruise someday, but you have to wonder how these cruise ships get away with that waste? Think of the Third World countries just one 7 day cruise could feed just with its left-overs or "waste". Surely they could keep the food sanitary enough for sharing at a later date. I can remember tucking a bologna sandwich back into the inside pocket of a winter coat to eat at a later date and I didn't die from it.
Here's another thought...how many of these ships leave a port every week..with the same amount of waste? That number has to be staggering. Will this keep me from ever taking a cruise? Probably not, but I know that I'll be thinking about that when I order 2 whole lobsters and a plate of fresh fruit for room service! That's the view from my stand!
Now, I've always been one for adventure and I'll probably take a cruise someday, but you have to wonder how these cruise ships get away with that waste? Think of the Third World countries just one 7 day cruise could feed just with its left-overs or "waste". Surely they could keep the food sanitary enough for sharing at a later date. I can remember tucking a bologna sandwich back into the inside pocket of a winter coat to eat at a later date and I didn't die from it.
Here's another thought...how many of these ships leave a port every week..with the same amount of waste? That number has to be staggering. Will this keep me from ever taking a cruise? Probably not, but I know that I'll be thinking about that when I order 2 whole lobsters and a plate of fresh fruit for room service! That's the view from my stand!
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