Thoughts from a dads point of view...

Writing a blog is a lot like keeping a journal or diary. The ideas are very off the cuff and emotions are sometimes raw, but very real. I had mentioned in an earlier blog post about an incident that happened when I was young. I know that many of us can think of times in our life, especially our youth, where we were doing something that seemed harmless and something bad happened. Maybe your life was in danger? It was one of those things that happen and it scares you to death. So much so, that I don't even remember telling mom and dad or very many others about it. But at times, it's as fresh in my mind like an event that happened yesterday.
The incident took place on the farm of my best friends grandparents. My buddy, Don and I were pretty much always together during our teenage years. We went to school together, we played sports together, we went to church together, we were in Scouts together, pretty much inseparable. We decided one spring, while visiting is grandparents farm, to take the canoe down the raging creek that ran through the farm property. Now, this was not our first time in a canoe or even the first time in rapid waters. We were traversing through the turns in the creek bed and enjoying a fun day on the water and in the outdoors. We were coming to a pretty defined left turn in the creek and we started "setting up" the canoe to make that turn in the rushing waters. We made the mistake of getting ready for that turn and planting our paddles a little bit early. As we entered the current in the bend, it tail spun the canoe and dumped us right out into the cold spring water. What happened next, didn't even give us time to worry about how cold the water was. My buddy was in the back of the canoe and was able to get clear of the canoe when it tumbled over. I wasn't as lucky. When the canoe tipped, I went out in the direction it tipped, towards the shore in front of me in the left hand bend. No sooner had I got in the water, the canoe was on top of me, pushing me towards the shore. Somehow, I ended up pinned against the bank by the canoe and the waters incredible force, completely under water. Occasionally, I still have dreams about being trapped against that bank under water and I wake up, breathing heavily. I can't even tell you today how much time passed while I was under water, but it seemed like forever. I know that back then I could hold my breath for more than 2 minutes, but caught in a predicament like this I doubt it was that long.
While I was pushed against the bank by the canoe and current, trapped under water, my friend was able to pull himself onto shore and make his way to where the canoe was jammed between tree roots and holding me captive. With what adrenalene I had left, I was doing everything I could to push the canoe away from my body. After trying to use his arms to push the canoe away from the bank, he finally used a tree for leverage and was able to use his legs and kick the canoe free. Thus, freeing me to come to the surface and get fresh air. I remember being so exhausted from all that happened after the canoe tipped, that I barely remember getting on shore. I do remember laying there and looking up at the sky and being thankful for being alive. Then of course, you start thinking, "oh man, mom and dad are going to kill me for doing this!" {I don't know why we think like that in our youth, you'd think mom and dad would be happy we were alive?} I remember thanking my buddy for getting us out of that situation and saving my life. {Believe it or not, he saved my life more than once. Yeah, we lived large!} I remember feeling like I was getting "another chance".
I tell you this story, to also share with you where I find myself today. 30+ years later, the images are as vivid as the colors on a Mardi Gras Parade float. I think back to the events like this and those similar, that shaped "who we are and who we want to be". I hope that I have done the right things that would make the actions of my friend saving my life, worthwhile. Taking into account the decisions I made then and beyond, that has impacted where I am today. I'm proud of many of my accomplishments, but most proud of my family {wife and kids} and the impact we have had on many children. I have this aching feeling right now for our own teenager and the decisions she will make in her life.
As many of you know, our Abby is now 17. She hasn't always made the best decisions {yes, we were teens once but she doesn't believe it!} and she has some really important ones facing her in the very near future. {keeping grade up, softball, college, job} These decisions will have a pretty big impact on her future and defining some of who she is. I guess as the dad here, I want her to look at the big picture rather then making decisions based on how she feels today. Trying to explain to a female teenager that basing any decisions on your overflow of emotions on any given day, is probably not wise and you may regret it. It's my hope that she would use the God-given intelligence and common sense that she has to make her decisions keeping in mind what's best for her in the long run. Most of all, we want her to be happy with her decisions and who she is. Every parent I know has or will have struggled with these thoughts and feelings. For me, putting them in the written form seems to help sort things out. The thing that we have always done and my parents did for us, is to love. Loving our kids unconditionally, even if they don't think we do, it is the greatest call on us as parents. I guess it's just my hope for them, that will get them to understand that with that love, we also want the very best for them. Will they have regrets? Probably, because many people do. We want them to be the best that they can be in what they choose to do, but we also want them to choose wisely. Maybe these are silly thoughts to some, maybe not. I'm just sharing in the view from my stand!