Crashing Into Christmas

I know, I know, I have neglected the blog writing again and for that I apologize. I couldn't believe it when I clicked on the site and it said my last post was October. Like many of you experience, it seems our life continues to get busier and more complex the older we get. I guess we're pretty lucky to get several days off in a row here at Christmas for some much needed down time. I'll take it and I thought I would also take this opportunity to catch up here. In years past I have always been pretty good about getting greeting cards out to family and friends at Christmas. They would always, well almost always, have our family Christmas letter in them. Several years ago I didn't get the letter in our cards and boy did I hear about it. {I wont mention any names here, but we're all still friends}
As most of you know, we lost our older brother Mike unexpectedly a couple years ago in November. Those first couple of Christmases were pretty rough. In fact, they sucked. We didn't decorate our home inside or out and I didn't really feel much like sending out cards or a letter. This season I thought I would get "ahead of the game" and the weekend after Thanksgiving I began decorating outside the house. Barb got some of her collection of Nativity scenes out and her and the kids put the tree up and decorated it. The house looks somewhat festive, inside and out. But alas, I failed at getting cards and letters out this year. Baby steps, right? So I decided to do a first and use my blog as the avenue of delivery. Some may not get this but many of you will and this year it will have to do.
Overall, we've had a pretty good 2011. When you're a parent of three or however many, your life is pretty much set on their schedules so we've kind of rolled with it. We do try to get a night out from time to time for adult time, usually with a lot less noise than what's at home. I thought in this letter I would try not to bore you with a month to month run down of our activities. {Yes, we have lots of room for activities} Instead, I thought I would share a few "firsts" with you. First, let's start with DJ.

DJ turned 11 last month. He's still a big "gamer" on the video games but this year he decided to play tackle football for the first time for an Optimist Club team. He was put on the "Barons" team which had 24 kids, half of them playing for the first time. He hated conditioning and wanted to quit, but when game time came around he started to really have a good time. I'll never forget one practice where the coach had given the boys a water break and these coaches worked the boys pretty hard. As the boys were returning to the huddle the coach says, "DJ, why are you always one of the last guys hustling back from a water break?" Without missing a beat DJ says, "I'm saving myself for the game, Coach!" That immediately reminded me of Bill Murray in "Stripes" and I was sliding down in the seat of my truck trying to stifle my laugh. He was one of the smaller guys on the team of 11-13 yr. olds, but was playing offense and defensive line and doing a pretty good job playing with a lot of heart. Their team finished the season undefeated and each player was awarded a trophy and given a t-shirt that said "League Champions" on it. The Monday after the awards banquet I asked Deej if he was going to wear his new shirt to school and his answer surprised me. He said, "Wearing that shirt is bragging and it makes all my friends mad. {He was on a team with no kids from his school} So I'll just wear it on the weekends." He didn't care so much about the wins, he just loved to play. And furthermore, he was sincere and humble, giving us a look at his growing, 11 year old, kind heart. That made us more proud than all the wins too!

Mariah is going to be 13 in February, although, she seems to think she's 16. She has a flare for the drama all day, every day. She's not happy unless she's yelling at her younger brother for something as simple as breathing to loud. Ahh..teenage girls. This year Mariah was very excited to get a part in the middle school musical, "Annie Jr." Man, did those kids put on a great presentation for 7th and 8th graders. Mariah was one of the "bratty orphans" so she really didn't have to get much out of character. She has a beautiful voice and did an outstanding job and surprised us with a cartwheel to our corner of the stage the night we had front row seats. She loves to sing, dance and act, in fact, she has a part in the school play coming in February. Earlier this year Barb took Mariah to the American Idol Tour Show that featured the top 12 Idol contestants. Prior to the concert, they had a karaoke stage outside the venue and Mariah got on stage and rocked the audience of a couple thousand people with the "Grenade" song. She received a tour poster signed by the 12 Idol contestants. We tell her that Uncle Eddie and I are going to sign her to the "Smoking Dog Records" label and make her a star. In our eyes, she already is!

Abby will be 19 in January. She started her first year of college and that was a big change not having her around the house. Not that she spent all that much time at home anyway, but we knew we weren't going to see her much when she went to school. One of the things we really missed was having that extra driver to help get the kids to where they needed to be. I've taken up about 90% of those duties. {Another reason I havent had much time to write on the blog} When she gets her year of general studies out of the way, she plans on studying International Business with a secondary in the Chinese Language. When she was in HS she went on a 20 day student leadership trip to China just before the Olympics. She really enjoyed the culture and history of that country. Abby did her first semester at Bowling Green and decided BG was not for her. So she returned home and will finish the year at Columbus State. This allows her to return to her job she had all last summer and attend a school only 25 minutes from home. We say we're "undecided" on whether we like her being back home. Her siblings don't seem to be wild about it, but the truth is, her Mom is glad she's back. {Insert evil smile here}

Barb and I have kept pretty busy with our jobs with some of the extra duties that we've been assigned. IGS is getting into the electric business to go with their natural gas business so things are pretty crazy but busy for her. We've had a few changes at Alpha the last few months that has required me to take on a lot more responsibility but nothing I cant handle. Last month Barb celebrated her 1 year anniversary of her knee replacement surgery with a 100% recovery. She's not tap dancing like Mom Paxton, but she's very pleased with the results. After the first of the year I will be having the same surgery on my left knee and I'm hoping for similar results. Because Barb had to be off work for an extended time for her recovery we really didn't get a family vacation this past summer. So, we're really looking forward to going somewhere special this next summer with the kids. {They remind us regularly that they were "jipped" out of a vaction} They have such a rough life.
We continue to be amazed at all the blessings in our lives. We have great family, awesome friends, we both get to work with some pretty incredibly good people, and we thank God for all those things. With the struggling economy and unemployment, marital and relationship problems that so many people we know are dealing with, I think it's important to share this thought I had about 2:30 this morning with you, especially this time of the year: This Christmas do something different. Go to the room your tree is in and turn off all the lights except the ones on the tree. As you sit quietly, remember that the blessings in your life way outnumber the bulbs on the tree. See how bright that tree is? Yeah, that's what others see in you. The message of Christmas: "No matter how tough the journey gets, you're never alone."
Merry Christmas and the best and brightest New Year to each of you. That's the view from my stand!

"All Things Being Equal"...I Wish That Were the Case!

Tonight, Barb and I got the rare opportunity to go on a "Date Night". So we decided to grab dinner at the Mexican restaurant Mi Cerritos and catch a movie at the Historic Strand Theater. Dinner was excellent and the company was awesome. We got over to The Strand just in time to see the movie "The Help". Now, my preconceived notions on this movie was basically from the grumblings of others stating that it was primarily a "chick flick." With those notions in tow, we went in quickly and sat in the back thinking it would be me, one other poor sap that got dragged there by his bride, and a theater full of women. I was wrong on both accounts; it was not a "chick flick" and there were a lot of couples at the movie tonight. In fact, there were a couple guys that serve on the county transportation board with me, there with their spouses. Don't get me wrong here, we liked the movie. It was the content of the movie that disturbed us and made us reflect on some things in our past.
The movie was set back in the early 60's in Jackson, Mississippi. The story centered around black women who served as cooks and housekeepers for white families in Jackson. The movie is based on a book released in 2009 by the same title. So, it's a movie based on a book about a character in the movie writing a book with the same title as the movie. Confused yet? But really, what the movie did for me was remind me just how socially messed up this country was at one time. What amazed me were some of the ridiculous "rules" that were practiced by whites due to the stupidity of our race at that time. Things like, "the black help were not allowed to use the bathroom in a white persons home for fear of spreading disease", or "they were not allowed to sit at the same table as their white employers for a meal". And they were to "never come to the front door of the house, especially when they were entertaining guests." The reality of that time, however, was the fact that these maids/housekeepers were very important to the children of their white employers. Many of them were raising the children, teaching and training them, while the child's parents were "busy" doing other things. Now, I realize that might have been over emphasized in the movie, but you have to know that it was taking place. These maids were responsible for the cooking, cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping, child rearing and caring for their own families. And if they were lucky, they made somewhere in the neighborhood of $150 a month. Even in 1960, that was pretty lean. In fact, you could say that was damn cheap. With the real possibility of losing their jobs by just talking to someone about how they were treated by their white employers, to me, that is the very definition of courage. John Wayne once said, "Courage is being scared to death but saddling up anyway." The maids stepped up to share their stories and were being the catalyst of change. Yes, I believe it's certainly better now than it was in the 1960's, but in reality, we've witnessed and experienced some of the backwards thinking and behaviors of people.
I grew up in what I called "white bread" country. That was never more evident than when we did this exercise in Foster Parent training. In front of each person was a bowl full of colored beads. Each colored bead represented a group of people. Each of us was given an empty bowl and told to grab a bead that represented you and put it in your bowl. Then the instructors gave us some questions that we answered by adding beads to our bowl. Questions like, "For your 5 closest friends put beads in the bowl representing them." And, "For the neighbors on each side of your home, place beads in the bowl representing them." And "For your 5 closest peers where you work, put beads in the bowl representing them." You get the idea. Well, at the end of that exercise, my bowl looked like a bowl of mini marshmallows with a few raisins or grapes in it, "white bread" indeed. Let's get back to "where I grew up". All through our early childhood and into elementary school, the only times we were exposed to "people of color" was when our parents took us to "the big city". {Champaign/Urbana} When we got into Jr. High and High School, we had 1 student that was African American. She was active in many school clubs and was a cheerleader. Still, there were many students that were very mean to her and really, down right hateful. I knew that wasn't right, but I didn't have the courage then to do or say anything. I couldn't imagine how she must have felt, but I know that today she's a very strong lady who is a proud parent and grandparent.
Another example, after the movie, Barb and I were talking and an event from years ago came up in our discussion. We were visiting some good friends and they were having a party that included people from all over the US from different walks of life. I was standing with a couple of other guys and we were talking about some of the recent crime sprees that had been in the news. When a "southern gentleman" from the coastal region spoke up and said, "You people in the north need to get your niggers under control like we do in the south." Most everyone looked at him like he was from outer space, but the problem was that he was dead serious in his way of thinking. He went on to explain how the south keeps "them" in line and that's "just the way it is." I'm not sure why that came to mind last night because like I said, it was many years ago. But I think it's relevant to this line of discussion we were having.
Sometimes we are caught off guard with acts of racism and segregation, as we were during a family vacation a few years ago. Two of our three children are adopted and happen to be African American and biracial. We were traveling with Barb's brother Mike and his wife Sherry and their two children. Their children are bright, beautiful kids that came from China and Korea. We decided to pull off the road and get some dinner for us weary travelers. We entered the restaurant and were seated in an area that was pretty much empty, but the place was busy. As we enjoyed dinner and conversation that revolved around the kids, other families we seated near us. To be honest, I was very unaware of what was happening. It wasn't until we left the restaurant and was back on the road that I could tell something was bothering Barb. It was then that she pointed out that the place we just had dinner was segregating its customers. When I stopped to think about it, she was correct. And it made us both angry that people were still behaving that way in the 2000's.
We have lived in Ohio now for 15 years and Mariah and DJ have been in our family since 2000, and we wouldn't have it any other way. We also love where Barb and I grew up and started our family. But there were always feelings of uneasiness around some of our old friends and some family with their take on us having a "blended family". Delaware, Ohio is not a metropolis and it's not a small farming community. It's a pretty good balance of both. We are blessed to be surrounded by lots of great friends and family that don't see "color", but instead they see the character and content of the hearts of our children.
All of that being shared, I'm glad there were people like Rosa Parks, Medger Evers, Dr. M.L. King Jr. and many others who didn't get cast into the media spotlight to reveal an incredible injustice. Yes, that's part of the history of our country, but I believe it's in our best interest as individuals to be vigilant. Each of us should have the courage to say what we know is right and what is wrong. MLK Jr. once said, "History will have to record that the greatest tragedy of this period of social transition was not the strident clamor of the bad people, but the appalling silence of the good people." Towards the end of our discussion last night Barb made the comment, "I better not hear or see anyone treating our babies like that because of the color of their skin." It's pretty safe to say, we will not be silent.
That's the view from my stand!

The Last "Hoorah!"??

Every year for the last 14, right about this time, I take a week to head north to Canada for some walleye, smallmouth and pike fishing with some of my buds. It’s my favorite place in the world to visit and I love sharing it with my friends and family. It’s a place where we can chill out and do what guys do; fish, smoke cigars, eat, pass gas, drink some adult beverages, fish more, eat some more, pass gas, swim when it’s hot, burp, sleep and did I mention passing gas? A few years ago, we had a guy cancel at the last minute so I decided to take Abby; she was 14 years old and did quite well for never fishing for walleye. This year a similar thing happened and we decided she should go again. Abby is now 18, and getting ready to head off to college in a couple of weeks.
I was a little apprehensive at first about taking her this time, but as it turned out, she basically had 5 “Dads” looking out after her best interests. This was especially true when it came to the dock guy, Tyler, but that’s another story for another time. {Ask Keith about his dreams and talking in his sleep!} Traveling up was pretty uneventful and we arrived at the bait shop where we always get our licenses every year. Just as we finished getting them, our good friends, Dan and Karen Spears, pull up to get theirs. We knew they were coming to the Island the same week but didn’t figure we’d see them until on the dock Saturday morning. It was a great surprise and we planned to have dinner together in North Bay, just a little further up the road. Dinner was great at Kelsey’s, and we finished the last bit of our drive to Haileybury Beach Motel where we would spend the night before heading to the Island Saturday morning. We got there in plenty of time to sit outside and enjoy a cigar while we watched a few sailboats return to the marina just as the sun was going down. A beautiful start to a great week!
After a delicious breakfast prepared by Bridget at the HBM, {see her with Abby in our album on my FB page} we headed to the dock. There we were greeted by friends from all over that we’ve met in previous years going to Island 10. Ron and Laurel from near Toronto, Jeff and Dawn from Michigan, Rich and Greg from Marion, Ohio and of course Dan and Karen, our friends from right here in Delaware, Ohio. Boats were loaded and we were on our way. When you arrive at the Island the hosts and staff have a big welcome lunch, buffet style. It rivals any good church potluck that you have attended, without a doubt. The biggest problem up there is, they feed you like that every day, twice a day, for a whole week! After the welcome lunch, we got back to our cabins and got our gear ready for fishing. I took Abby out and right away we started catching fish for a shore lunch. For those not familiar with a shore lunch; they take your fresh caught fish and clean them for you. The next day when you go out to fish after breakfast, all the supplies to fix a lunch are in your boat. The Coleman stoves, frying pans, beans, potatoes, onions, your fish, batter, oil, matches, fresh baked cookies, and all the table service you need for your group. It’s the absolute best way to enjoy your fish and always nice to share with the folks there for the first time.
Every day in the lodge we shared a table at meal time with the Spears and a family member of the owners that was visiting for the week, Miss Vera. Breakfast and Dinner conversation was always plentiful and enjoyable. I was very thankful that Dan and Karen were there because at times Abby just felt like staying at the cabin and reading {or sleeping} so she also had some great visits with Karen and Miss Vera at the Spears cabin.

We tried to split things up so everyone got the opportunity to fish with everyone else. It sort of worked out and it was good that the guys were just happy to be there enjoying the incredible scenery, the fishing and of course at night, the stars and cosmic light show that was there when the clouds were away. The fishing was pretty good this week in comparison with the last 3-4 years, and guys in our group caught at least one of each kind they were hoping for; walleye, northern pike and smallmouth. However, it seemed you couldn’t go anywhere on the lake and get away from those 3”-6” yellow perch that attack your bait as soon as it leaves the boat. Anywhere near a rocky bottom you had the same size smallmouth and rock bass harassing you as well. The flies weren’t too bad this year, either. The mosquitoes, on the other hand, were a little different story. Every night right around dark they moved in quickly. But like everything else, you learn to deal with them and wait them out and they eventually moved out of the area as quickly as they came in. After they left, we would all gather on the deck enjoying a drink and a cigar and watch the sky. Keith saw his very first “shooting star”, actually two in one night. On those clear nights, straight above the cabin you could see the Milky Way. It’s so clear; it’s as if the Master painter brushed them in across the sky in one smooth stroke. Glorious, indeed! We had several nights where we were able to enjoy the view of the shooting stars, satellites, constellations, Milky Way and an occasional airplane. The conversation always turned to guessing where that flight might have originated and where it may be going. Yeah, we were contemplated the deep stuff while vacationing.
The very best day of fishing was Tuesday when the weather was cloudy, windy and a little bit of rain. A couple of the guys hit the bourbon a little hard the night before and couldn’t answer the call at breakfast. {Fair weather fishermen!} So Ed and I fished together and Jimmy and Dan Spears fished together. We headed out to a favorite area of ours called “Willow Lake”. We boated 2 keepers and 2 “slot fish” that had to go back in the water in the first pass. I knew it was going to be a good morning. When we returned we had 12 on the stringer and had boated more than 30 good fish during that time. That didn’t count the ones that got off right at the boat. About half way through the morning, I’m sure the other boats fishing Willow Lake might have tired of hearing the USA Walleye Dream Teams chant of: “We don’t, we don’t, we don’t mess around, hey!” But we certainly had fun catching and netting those fish for each other! It was an enjoyable day and we finished the evening in the “Honey Hole” where I took one of my favorite sunset pictures in my 14 yrs. of visiting the Island. {See the album on my FB page and look for the sunset with tree stumps.}
Midweek brought the Island Fish Fry where around 4pm our host would begin cooking fish on the deck just outside the lodge. It’s a time meant for everyone on the island to get together for some good fish, good fellowship and a little bit of BS. Ken would cook several kinds of fish and promised a case of bourbon to anyone who could guess the 5 samples in the correct order. The reason he does this is to show that because the water is so clean and so cold up there, all the fish are good eating fish. Of course no one got the order correct. He served up bass, pike {twice}, walleye and whitefish. It’s always a good time sitting on the deck and munching nuggets of fresh fish and fries while visiting with all the guests. Also during that time, Ken will tell stories of years past on guests that are present and even some that are not. You have to know Ken to appreciate him, but between his accent, some of the phrases he uses and just the sheer joy he gets out of repeating stories, the opportunity to hear him tell these tales is worth the price of admission!
Speaking of phrases, there were a few “Abbyisms” that the guys and I had to endure for the 7 days on the Island. “Abbyisms” are phrases that would only come from Abby, and fortunately we didn’t need a translator. I think one of her favorites and one we heard many times was “pump yo brakes”. This meant to relax or chill out. We were all subject to this phrase at one time or another on the island. Similar to that was the ever popular “slow your roll”, same meaning. Another of her favorite ones was “come at me like that again”. She usually said that when someone said something about her that she didn’t like, most of the time it was me. Apparently, she has a belief that these grown men are threatened by an 18 year old, 125 lb. female. She was mistaken. Another one of the “Abbyisms” that we got a kick out of was her “getch me some”. Basically she said this when she was happy about catching a fish, reading a book, or getting one of her favorite foods as part of a meal. She also used it when she laid the occasional “zinger” on me or one of her other “Dads” for the week. Yes, she got her share in. I’m not sure why some of the wives of the other “Dads” were worried about how Abby would do for a week on an island with us. She has had 18 years of training from yours truly, and she handled herself with dignity. Well, however much dignity you can muster when everyone in the cabin can hear every sound you make while using the bathroom. But, hey, you have to remember that you are in the remote wilderness and there are things that you might have to do a different way than you would do them at home. Chalk up another great life lesson to be learned.
So, as the week was winding down and we all started realizing just how fast it goes by once you get on the island, we made our pairings for the last day on the lake. I had told the guys that I wanted to take Abby on the last day because there were a couple of places I wanted her to see. When she was up with us at 14, we were on a 5 day trip and she didn’t get to see some of the neat places that we enjoy. Friday morning I let her sleep in and the guys and I all went to breakfast. After breakfast, I went out by myself for a while and returned about 10am to pick up Abby. We headed for one of my favorite places on the lake, Frank’s Falls. Since my very first visit to Island 10, this has always been a special place. When I first visited Island 10, my Dad had just passed away the year before and his name was Frank. It’s a rock formation with water pouring over it from a spring fed lake above the falls. It’s a place that is both roaring with the noise of the water going over the falls, and also peaceful where above the falls, the water is just bubbling, almost whispering, coming over a few stones from the lake headed for the falls. In comparison, much like I remember my Dad. Sometimes very loud when one or all of us were being disciplined, and sometimes very reserved, like the conversations we had during a game of Blitz or while working on a jigsaw puzzle. I guess you could also say this place is very reminiscent of each of our lives. Life is sometimes like the water going over the falls, loud and racing at break neck speed toward its destination, Lady Evelyn Lake. It is also slow and calm, like the water leaving the spring fed lake above the falls heading down the little tributary that feeds into Franks Falls. Most of the time I hope for the “slow and calm” parts of life, but anyone who is raising or has raised a teenager in this day and age knows that those times are few and far between. I guess you can picture in your minds eye this beautiful place and understand why I wanted to share this with Abby. {You can also see some pictures of Franks Falls on the album on my FB page.}
After getting a few good pictures and sharing our lunch on the Falls, we decided to head back to the lodge for a final swim in the lake and an afternoon nap. After dinner Friday night we went into some of the back water behind Supermarket and Island 10. It was calmer there and it allowed us to have some time to talk and just take in the beauty of the lake for the last time. While we were out we talked a little about Abby heading off for college and being away from home. She admitted to being a little scared and I think that’s okay. When we have a little fear in our lives it sometimes causes us to be cautious. The future is always a little scary even when you’re in your 40’s. But to hear her say this and share the things we shared gives me the confidence that as her Mom and Dad, we have done our best to prepare her for this stage in her life. We know that she is going to do some pretty great things and we can’t wait to see her take the reigns and be the responsible adult we know she can be. We’ll only be a couple hours away from her campus so when her mom starts having nervous breakdowns, we can go and visit her on a weekend. After spending some time talking on the lake, we cruised through a couple of our “honey holes” from the past years and then headed back to the lodge. Friday night was a great night for sitting on the deck and thinking about the week past, but also getting back to the reality of our every day, regular {or not so regular} lives.
As we were sitting on the deck watching the skies and talking about different things, Abby getting married became a topic of discussion. We talked about the lucky or not-so-lucky guy that would be her husband. Hey, you have to take the good with the bad in this group! We talked about her wedding and what might take place at the reception. Uncle Eddie made the comment that when the “Dad and Daughter” dance took place, half way through he was going to “Tap me Out” and cut in to finish the dance. To be honest, I would totally be okay with that. I’m incredibly thankful for the number of friends that we have that have such an unbelievable love and unending patience for and with our kids. Some of them are “ninja warriors” in that sense and we recognize and appreciate them more than they will ever know. As we finished packing our things away and prepared for our departure Saturday morning, we talked a little about “the next time up”. If “the good Lord is willing and the creek don’t rise”, I may be bringing DJ up to Island 10 next summer for his first visit. There is a whole year between now and then to change my mind, but I think by next summer he might be ready for such a trip. I know, we’re getting ahead of ourselves a little bit but planning for the future always makes going there worthwhile! Saturday morning we said our “goodbyes till next year” to the staff and hosts as well as to our Island friends who share this same week with us year after year. Then we started that dreaded drive home that was again pretty uneventful, just the way we like it. We did stop off at this remote burger stand that we’ve passed for 14 years. It was well worth the stop just to see the operation and have a charcoal grilled sandwich. I’m not sure that everyone agrees with me on this.
I’ll finish this post with a few things that I like to think Abby might have taken away from this trip. First, I believe that maybe she has a greater understanding of the word sacrifice. Next, I hope she sees the value and importance of having some great friends in your life that will encourage you as well as call you out when necessary. I also hope that she understands that a “fishing trip” is not always about the fishing. Taking time to enjoy the handiwork of our Creator is far more important than the fishing. And finally, I hope she understands that whether in good times or not so good times, a Dad’s love for their child never changes or waivers regardless of the circumstances. Will this be our last “hoorah”? Who knows, but a part of me really hopes not. That’s the view from my stand!

A Top Ten List That Will Make You Smile

So, the last few weeks have been a blur. So much going on and preparations were being made for our first child to graduate High School and celebrate the following weekend with family and friends. That was quickly followed up by orientation at BGSU. Abby has decided that she will major in “secondary education, specializing in integrated language arts”, whatever the hell that means. In layman’s terms, she wants to be a Jr. High/HS language arts teacher. (Having flashbacks of being in Janice Bubb’s HS class) Her class schedule is set and she’ll move into her dorm on August 19th. This is an exciting time for her and yet scary too. We’re confident that she’s ready and we’ve done the best we could do. Now with Mariah headed into Jr. High and DJ going into Middle School, it’s going to be an interesting school year this fall.
July has come and with it a few celebrations and even some memories that stir the heart. July 1st would be my brother Mike’s birthday. Not a day goes by that something someone says, a sound or even the smell of someone smoking a Marlboro triggers a favorite memory or even just a glimpse of him smiling in my mind. He’s missed by many of us way more than even he would believe. The July 4th holiday always brings about a celebration with good friends and we always look forward to that. Also in July is our annual fishing trip to Northern Ontario. I love vacationing with family and friends, but this is the trip I look forward to the most every year. I’m sure many of you are tired of hearing me rave about it, so you might want to skip on down to the next paragraph. ;-) It’s such an incredible place that displays the master handicraft by an amazing God. The wilderness is so pristine on this lake, you could pull the boat ashore and walk into the woods 25 yards and you might be the very first person to set foot on that very spot. Seeing the wildlife in their natural habitat is also very pleasing. The fishing and accommodations are both off the charts and the icing on the cake it having the opportunity to share this with some of my best friends! Like I always say, you really have to experience it before you would completely understand. Yeah, it’s going to be another awesome trip up with 2 new guys going this year. I can’t wait!
I thought maybe I would do something a little different in this blog post and give you a Top Ten of “Things You Might Do To Celebrate Life”. These are things that I have done the last couple of months or plan to do in the next couple of months. I would challenge you to jump in and have fun doing these or something similar. They are in no particular order so please enjoy the list!

10. Get up early in the morning {before the sun} and take one of your kids {doesn’t matter how old they are} out for breakfast. Ask a few questions but let them do most of the talking. You won’t be disappointed!

9. Read a book that you wouldn’t normally read and tell someone about it.

8. Call a friend you haven’t talked to in a long, long time and if possible, get together. It’s never too late to rekindle old friendships!

7. Gather together with all your neighbors and have a block party. Get to know them better, even if they are a little creepy.

6. Tell someone of the same sex, that makes a huge difference in your life, how much you love and appreciate them. {In a non-gay way, of course, not that there’s anything wrong with that.}

5. Stop by the local quick mart or convenient store and get a blue slushy just to see your tongue that crazy color like you did when you were a kid. {PS..Don’t forget it leaves your body that color too!}

4. Walk up to someone you know and you think they just might need a big ole hug and give them one. It might just make their day. Do this even if you’re not a hugger. Get out of your comfort zone.

3. Call your Mom or Dad or other family member just to tell them you love them. They will be so happy you did and you’ll feel better about that than they do.

2. Write a letter to a friend, on lined paper with an ink pen. They will be surprised that you did and it will bring back memories from when everything was just simpler.
1. Take a few moments to talk to a stranger and/or help someone out. It might be giving them directions or just smiling and saying hello and asking how they are doing. Sometimes that’s all someone needs to make their day a little brighter.

I know nothing earth-shattering here, but the idea is to take the focus off of you. It’s so easy to get caught in the “Me, Me, Me” trap these days, that we forget that the very reason each of us is here is for each other. I’m particularly thankful for my family and the many friends that we have in our life, old and new. But I’m as guilty as anyone for not telling them so as often as I should. I hope to change that. It’s my aspiration that each of you has these same hopes in your life and that you’ll in turn share them with others. Have a safe and happy 4th of July and rest of summer. Be watching for a blog post sometime after the 30th to hear about our fishing trip. As always, that’s the view from my stand!

Memory Makers

Yes! I'm recovering superbly from my knee surgery last Thursday. It doesn't seem possible with stitches still in and only 5 days past, but I feel like it already feels better than it did before surgery. And it was a constant pain before surgery. I also discovered the harsh side effects of some pain medications, but I won't go into that here. Let's just say that a steady diet of grains, fruit juices and Metemucil is a good idea for a few days after surgery. Stitches are scheduled to come out on the 25th and I find out then when the Doc is going to release me from work. I'm pretty anxious for this appointment. As those who know me well, I don't like sitting around and "relaxing" all that much. My Dad used to say, "You ca sleep when you're dead, there's work to get done!"
Speaking of Dad, I was listening to "The Hawk", classic country music radio earlier today and there was a song on by Alan Jackson. The title was, "When Daddy Let Me Drive." I didn't remember this song from "days gone by", but immediately it brought about memories from my early teen years. Dad had an old green Chevy flatbed pickup truck with a starter button on the floor board and a gear shift on the driving column. "Three on the tree", as they say. Many times, well before I was of driving age, Dad would tell me to get behind the wheel and we were going to town. Most times this happened on a Saturday morning after tinkering around the farm a while. It was always a treat to head into town with Dad because we always went to the FS gas station where many of his friends were hanging out. Big John owned the station and all the guys would sit around telling stories or talking about the current "going ons" of our busy village of 450 people. The absolute best part of the trip was when we arrived at the FS, Dad would buy us each a Pepsi, still in the glass bottles, and a bag of Planters peanuts. We would take one big drink out of the pop and then dump the bag of peanuts into the bottle. It was so good, it tasted like you were eating a Payday candy bar. This was one of my Dads favorite things. We would have our pop, listen to the latest hubub and then run any other errands we had or head back to the farm. If we were going back home, sometimes he would let me drive home too. This was just one of the great memories I have of Dad.
Every once in a while, I'll get a Pepsi and a bag of peanuts and sit in the truck and enjoy that treat again. I realized as I got older, I preferred Coke, but it doesn't taste the same. It has to be Pepsi, and of course, no longer in glass bottles. Every time I see an old pickup truck going down the road, it makes me think of Dad and I smile. But when that song came on the radio today, I listened to the lyrics and a lump formed in my throat. The story the song told could have easily been Dad and I with a few minor changes. As the song was coming to an end and my eyes were watering a bit {probably allergies} I was getting ready to turn into our neighborhood. An old red Ford pickup truck passed me going the other way on Rt.36..and yes, I smiled. It's been 15 years sinced Dad passed and even the memories make it seem like not long ago. He was a great role model, friend, Dad and all around great guy. On this rainy day in central Ohio, he is missed more than he'll ever know.
That's the view from my stand!

Catching Up From A Busy Spring!

Wow! I guess things have been really busy. I sat down this afternoon and opened my blog, only to realize I hadn’t written a post since mid-February. {That and my Ohio Mom reminded me she hadn’t read any of my ramblings lately.} Like everyone else when winter breaks, our family is ready for some time outside. Even with the incredibly wet spring, Barb and I were able to take the kids down to our farm in Kentucky for spring break. They enjoyed riding the quads through the woods and creek, cooking out and roasting marshmallows over the open fire. They weren’t real wild about sharing their sleeping quarters with a few country mice and some spiders, but they lived through it.
Barb and I celebrated our 27th wedding anniversary since my last post. The time seems to have flown by because I still remember so much from our early years. I wanted to get her something a little different from our usual routine; massages, spa days and gift certificates. Do you know what the traditional gift is for the 27th wedding anniversary? Well, I didn’t either, but I looked it up. Come to find out it’s a sculpture or statue. So I decided to go “traditional” this year and gave Barb a little statue of a boy angel with stained glass in its wings, holding a bird in its hand almost as if he rescued it. Just the significance of the statue and the beauty of the stained glass wings, makes it a pretty special gift. She really loved it.
After scheduling 2 or 3 times, the spring rains and other events, we finally got our spring turkey hunt in down at the farm. I took a couple of friends with me, Gary Ballard and John Ford. John was on his first turkey hunt. We’ve been seeing huge flocks of turkeys in the bottoms every trip down as well as a scattered single or double tracking through the higher woodlands. The 450 acres were holding a lot of birds. We arrived on the property about 4:00 in the afternoon and after setting up camp, decided to head down and check on the ground blinds I had set up the week before. After getting to the old tobacco barn in the bottoms on 4 wheelers, Gary hit his mouth call a couple times and sure enough, a gobbler answered. As we moved into position to see the bird, we realized 2 of the “thunder chickens” were answering the call. John was carrying my Remington Nitro Mag and started up the hill to see onto the field where the birds were strutting their stuff. As John got into position to shoot, I was watching the birds with their tail feathers fanned, all puffed out and gobbling away. It was quite a sight. When Gary got the birds to come into range, I told John to shoot the nearest bird. He put an excellent shot on it and 1 hour on the property we had the first bird in the bag. We checked out our blinds to find them lying down due to the storms that had riddled the south the week before. We sat them back up and prepared our sites for the Saturday morning hunt to come. Unfortunately, the birds didn’t cooperate on Saturday and all we got to see were a few hens and a tom running full speed into the woods. We did celebrate the weekend right with a Turducken and Cajun potatoes cooked on the grill, good scotch and a Padron Anniversary cigar. The storms moved in Saturday night and we ended up packing out in a frog strangler Sunday morning. It’s always a good time getting away and I really enjoy sharing the farm with good friends.
As the spring sports season starts winding down, I only have one more game that I have to umpire this next week. Unfortunately, my left knee has been aggravating me since the first of the year and on Thursday the 12th our Doc is going to scope it. He says that there are some spots of arthritis in it but thinks there might be something more. I’ll be off work for a couple of weeks, but that will allow me to catch up with the lure making. It’s that time of year and I’m looking forward to trying a couple new patterns that are featured in the NA Fisherman magazine.
While I’m wrapping up this post, my mind is on the end of this month. Our Abby will be graduating from HS and preparing to move on to Bowling Green State University Business School. It seems like just a few short years ago we were putting her on the bus for her first day of Kindergarten. We’re so proud of the young woman she has become and we’re excited about what her future holds. I’m certain she’ll do great with whatever she chooses to do, but like any parent; I will still worry about her. If you’re attending her Grad Party on June 11th, we look forward to spending some time with you. Thanks for reading, and that’s the view from my stand!

Sometimes We Need A Reminder...

It seems that things have been flying at warp speed the first couple months of 2011. Everyone has had to deal with some crazy weather, power outings, and all the things that come with winter. Winter also seems to bring about the extreme cold and gives us plenty of time to do some contemplating by the warm fireplace.
One of the things that have been in our conversations and thoughts is this; as we get older we are greeted with the realization that we are not immortal. In fact, I remind Barb on occasion that “the mortality rate is still hovering around the 100% mark these days.” When we look around and see our friends {and spouse} having knee or hip replacement surgeries, wearing triple bifocals, spending more time at the pharmacy than the gym; it really hits home. One of the things that really gets to me are the diseases that are out there that renders the individual with the disease practically helpless.
A good friend of ours has been suffering with MS. She was diagnosed more than 10 years ago. In fact, there are a number of people in our life that have been impacted by this debilitating disease. For this reason, I’ve learned a lot about MS the last few years. I’m certainly not an expert but I can tell you from first hand experience, it’s very difficult to see a loved one have their spirit weakened and their mind diminished by MS. When this disease attacks the nervous system and challenges the normal thought processes, it totally changes the person; their character, demeanor, sense of humor, and more. I know that every case of MS is different and I’m just speaking from my own experiences. But when the disease settles in, the person with that disease is just not the same anymore. Our friend was one of those bubbly people that you loved to be around. She had that “sparkle” in her eyes of fun and mischief, she was always dressed in elegant clothing, she was a successful business woman, she loved to travel, she loved her “Cubbies” and she loved her husband, her son, and her family and friends. Today, she’s just a shell of the person she was and that’s the tough thing to accept. It’s absolutely the toughest on her husband who has been caring for her through all these changes.
In most cases of MS, it’s happening to much older adults so moving your 50 yr. old spouse into a nursing home is a big deal. When you think about it, who really plans for long term hospitalization or disability when you’re in your 30’s? We sure didn’t. So, not only is this a very traumatic time because of the life changes but it can also be very stressful financially. I told my friend, the husband, that I couldn’t begin to imagine walking in his shoes even for a day. Absolutely no one wishes to have to deal with the nasty things that MS does to a persons mind and character; but my friend has dealt with it pretty well for the last 10+ years.
As many of us find out with the presence of life-threatening illnesses or/and the sudden loss of someone important to you, life can get very difficult. The things that have become routine, no longer are. The things that bring you much pleasure or even simple enjoyment are put on an infinite “hold pattern”, much like planes trying to land at the airport. You feel the pressures of all these things coming to the top and you think you might need to wrap Ductape around your head to keep it from exploding. Feelings of loneliness, hopelessness and helplessness invade parts of our mind where it never resided before. These are the times in life where we need to remember this truth: Life was never intended to be done alone. This may be something that you needed to read today yourself. With the chaos that our society has become, many people need to hear this truth. Even with miles and miles separating family and friends, you are never alone.
I mentioned in an earlier blogpost the three things that are most important to me; faith, family & friends. I’m sure I’m not alone in that line of thinking but faith is always a touchy subject. I know what I believe, but I don’t think it’s my place to tell others what they “have to” or “should” believe. I also believe that faith is a very personal thing and many people assume or judge others incorrectly. A famous quote from the WW2 era comes to mind here, “There are no atheists in foxholes.” I think that quote can be altered a bit to read, “There are no atheists on the extremely complicated roads in life.” Again, whether we like it or not, there are words there that ring the bell of truth. I can remember “being made” to go to Sunday school and Vacation Bible School when we were young. I was like every other small town boy, there were 500 other things I’d rather do than sit in a Sunday school classroom. But as I sit writing this blog and sharing with you, a verse that I learned years ago came to mind. “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.”John 15:13 I don’t think I’m any different than a lot of people we know. And I’m sure, beyond any doubt; that I have friends that are described in that verse that has stuck in my mind. But because of what I believe, I also want to be a friend that is described that way. I firmly believe that there comes a time in all of our lives that we have to decide, first, if there is indeed a Creator. And second, what will be my response to this belief? Again, I say, this is why it’s a very personal thing. For that very reason, I speak for myself when I say that in the deepest, darkest recess in my heart I believe that truth mentioned above; Life was never intended to be done alone. So, as I told my friend the other day, I can’t imagine walking a day in his shoes. But I intend to walk beside my friend because as a young man growing up, some of the things our parents taught us or made us do, stuck with us because they were also the right thing.
If you’re struggling through health issues, life-changes that weren’t in your original plans, or just need to be reassured with a word of encouragement, remember this truth and share it with others. Life was not intended to be done alone. Talk to a friend and have them walk this road with you. If you have a friend struggling, strap on your hiking boots and travel that road with them. Because at the end of the day, the love of family and friends does not make the world go around, but it certainly makes the wild ride called LIFE worthwhile.
That’s the view from my stand!

{Note: Because of the personal content of this post, I received permission from my friend to make this post.}

Getting older bites...but it's better than the alternative!

This week my mother turned 75 years old. Wow! It’s not like she’s the first person to ever turn 75, its just realizing how time quickly passes by. She’s quite an awesome mom, too. Mothering 10 children, not to mention all the neighborhood kids she cared for, taking care of her Dad and Mother and then later in life, our own Father. And still, at 75, going like the everlasting “Energizer Bunny”. I called her the night before her birthday and you know what her plans were in the morning? On the morning of her 75th birthday, she was going to be driving over to the Senior Center and making breakfast for 25 seniors. They rave about her desserts and other items she brings in to share so getting her to make them a breakfast was a real treat, indeed. That’s just the kind of person my mother has always been, taking care of and doing for others. That’s also why she is and has always been my role model.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m a long way from being like my mother. She will certainly be “sainted” in her glory days. It’s just my goal to be more like her. When my mother turned 57, we were able to give her a really cool birthday present, a grand daughter. Abigail was born 2 weeks late, 9 lb. 10 oz, and given a middle name she shares with her grandmother. Man, did this really change our lives. If you have trouble with math, that would make Abby 18 years old this week too. Yeah, we still can’t believe it.
We spent a lot of time while she was growing up making some great memories. Playing in the back yard with the cocker spaniels, riding tricycles with her Aunt Joyce, playing “chase” with Grandpa Ray, trips to see the Cardinals play, catching her first fish at the lake on Springfield Ave, dance classes, vacations with cousins, “camping out”, playing dress-up, all the things that make growing up fun. Some of my favorite memories will always be spending time with Ab doing things she knew I liked. I loved watching her play softball. She could hit with the best of them and field her positions better than most that played the game. I may sound biased but I played and coached many years and saw lots of talent. She’s a natural playing softball. I also enjoyed teaching Abby to shoot and taking her out hunting with me. I like to think she enjoyed it too. One of my favorite memories was teaching Abby to drive and letting her drive my truck before she was of age. Her mother would have stroked out if she knew…wait..oh well. She’ll get over it.
As many of you know, I take a trip every summer to a place that is very special to me. It’s a outdoorsman’s paradise. A fishing retreat in northern Ontario that can only be reached by float plane or boat. You can’t drive to this lake and fish on the banks. I’ve been blessed to have gone for the last 12 years, but a few years ago it was a pretty special trip. We were 2 weeks from going north and one of the guys backed out of the trip. After checking with all my friends and friends of friends, we couldn’t find a replacement. So, I decided to take Abby north so we had an even amount of fishermen.

There was a slight problem; Abby had never fished for walleye and northern pike before. I took her to the local sporting goods dealers and got her all geared up. Once we got on the island, I spent the first half-day and the second day teaching her “the ropes” to landing walleye. Low and behold, she spent the week catching lots of fish, getting her summer reading done for school, and getting to know some of dad’s friends better than she really wanted too. We had met a group of guys there from Michigan. One of them had been there before; the other 5 it was their first time too. By the end of the week, Abby had caught more walleye by herself than the 6 guys from Michigan did altogether. Man, was I really proud of her.
Those are just a few of the memories that we’ve been lucky to share. In a couple months Abby will be graduating from high school and a couple months after that, starting college at Bowling Green State University. She’s got a whole brand new chapter of life ahead and we’re excited for her. It’s my hope that as she grows older these memories will be as special to her as they are to me. And when she thinks of them as I know she will, they will bring a smile to her face. The same smile that melted my heart 18 years ago and still does today. That’s the view from my stand!